Due to the uncertain times we live in, the Ministry of Magic has asked that we relay the following. “Vagina Buttercup, is famously known and identifies as a Witch & Druid of this and many other realms. She is a long time resident of a little known & much hidden place called Magpie Bottom and has spent lifetimes working with troubled Witches, Wizards, Druids and all manner of magical folk. The disclaimer here at the Gazette requires that we are open & transparent in ensuring that the reader is aware that they at all times are responsible for their own problems and dilemmas that should/might/will occur as a consequence of existing! Personal responsibility is the name of the game and at all times remains with the Witch, wizard, Druid or other magical folk of concern. Vagina Buttercup is here to support & provide the most excellent guidance and advice. T & C’s apply please remember to always ask permission from your responsible magical adult as we do not condone the use of rose tinted specs when reading or submitting anything for our attention!
Thank you for your understanding.”
“Hello and welcome back to this edition of ‘Precious Pixie Corner. As previously shared with you all, I am Vagina Buttercup and I am thrilled and delighted to have been invited to be the Gazettes Magical Agony Aunt...Such an honour... Lets get straight to it... As I always say a Problem shared is a problem halved...Or occasionally exacerbated....No Need to thank me... You are Welcome!
This month Ive decided to be more generic with the questions focused on. It is Alban Heflin, Summer Solstice after all and I get so many queries about this time of year, the whys and where fore’s & so on, that I thought I might a good idea for this edition to concentrate of answering a few of the reasons, rituals and practices of this magical season...So buckle up my Lovelies, there might just be a more than a few gems to take away from this....
“Dear Vagina Buttercup,
Is usually how this starts and I see no reason to change this because these are just some of the questions that make it across my desk regarding the season and rituals of Summer Solstice. This is a potted version with reference to, as I am sure you will all appreciate, a very large subject. Therefore, it goes without saying, that I am sure I won’t have covered everything, but hopefully there will be just enough to shine a light (excuse the pun) on a most wonderful and important time, that blankets the blue and green spinning wheel that we live upon and are so lucky to call home.. SO let’s get started......
1: What is Summer Solstice?
There are several answers to this, the actual, the physical and the spiritual. So firstly Solstice represents the midpoint of the year and by definition is known as Mid-Summer. The point/date of solstice varies from year to year, but usually falls between 21st-24th June , from there after the sun rises and over the day, it makes its accent and reaches its zenith, of course to the human eye looks stationary in the sky. This means it reaches the highest and same point in the sky for the following three days and radiates, weather permitting, the strongest and longest amount of heat and daylight. The Sun seems to stay at the same point in the sky getting no higher or lower, over the following days, but this is an optical illusion obviously, but none the less....
The Summer solstice represents the longest day and the shortest night. Physically, we might have more energy because of the light and wonderful amount of Vit D provided by the sun. It literally makes us happy! We will perhaps feast, socialise and celebrate more, taking on more nourishment, in preparation of the toil of harvest yet to come. All of this whilst recognising that this is a time of plenty of coming together and celebrating the turning of the wheel that will take us gently over the coming months into ‘Summers End’ (Autumn) and the next chapter of the year’s cycle.
Spiritually we will feel the earth’s energies shift and the invisible lines between realms blur so that we can, if we are very lucky, see, connect and communicate with the fairies/the Fae/ The Fair Folk and just as we draw down the energies of the full moon to energise and awaken us, so we draw down the Sun in Splendour because we want to be sure that the sun returns knowing that it now begins its slow decent over the coming weeks and months into winter.
So it will not surprise you I am sure, that ever since that night I’ve not seen an increase of my wealth, in fact I’ve not seen a single extra penny, but my house is currently being picketed by a chowder of over 27-30 stray cats. & let me be clear here, they are not just sitting there they’ve now started formal rotation. Three of them are permanently staring through my back window with unblinking intensity and I’m pretty sure the big ginger tom has being trying to pick the lock on my back door. To make things worse, my familiar is a crow called Trevor and he is absolutely fuming at me, refusing to come down of my wardrobe in the bedroom, whilst screeching at the top of his lungs, “intruders”.
So PLEASE can you help me to get rid of my abundance of Felines without offending the Bastet devotees in the neighbourhood? PS.. Also how do I get a crow to accept a formal apology?
Living in Hope
Cursed with Cat-Titude
Ohhhhh my, what a too do!..... I should tell you that I did laugh, very loudly when I read your letter, after all, bless you, stupidity, inexperience and lack of proper spell prep, have all come in to play here, but at the same time....well easy mistake to make and none of us are immune to that one my Dear let me tell you.
I can remember when a dear, dear friend of mine, not to mention the most experienced of witches, the Mighty Frig Froske, banished my nephew by mistaking Hemlock for parsley when prepping the Sunday lunch on time, I accept we had a few glasses of the old home brew mead...But there it was we turned around and there he was gone.. Oh how we laughed.. It’s a rites of passage don’t you know..
Of course one of the first things that should be address is your requesting of ‘abundance’ from the Universe. How specific were you? Did you just say i wish to call in abundance? If you didn’t specify the actual abundance that you wanted in your wording the Universe picked something for you. I mean to say.. it’s all in the wording Deary. The Universe was teaching you a lesson to that effect I think and having a laugh in the process..
However, fear not there are things that can be don’t to rectify this situation. Firstly you need to do what we will call, ‘a Reverse-Nip cleanse’. You need to neutralise the smell of Catnip. Mop and wipe down everything with a seriously strong infusion made with Lemon Balm and vinegar.. Cats really hate it and should more than signal to them that the party is over.
Now we get to the Bastet clause... You really do not want to incur the divine wrath of a slighted Goddess, especial a Cat Mother.. NOOooooo... So make sure you leave a VERY tasty, high quality, no expense spared, tuna offering at the boundary of your property. As you place the offering down, Clearly say the following “ I thank the Great Cat for her visit, but my halls are full and my milk is sour”... This is a polite no misunderstanding for times up and of your rejection, but for deities.
We are now at the tricksy bit... Your beloved familiar Trevor..Crows are notoriously known for their sulking and stubbornness. But they do love a bit of the old silver bling. So in this instance I advise that you make a small shiny offering, a thimble or something similar. Place it on his favourite perch and bow slightly to show your apology and deference.. Not to deep a bow or he will assume you are no his familiar and not the other way around. However, do not make eye contact as you do this as he needs to feel that he has won this particular argument.
Finally.... For the Love of the Gods... LABEL YOUR HERBS!!! I have no more to say on that matter you should know better and if you didn't you do now!
And there you have it, thank you all for joining me as together we have traversed poor Cursed with Cat-itude's problem shared moment. As always please do feel free to email me at spiritofawen@btinternet.com with all or any of your questions, queries, and magical problems. I will look forward to hearing from you. Make sure you mark your email FAO V.Buttercup, Precious Pixie corner...
Until next Month
Seasonal Blessings